my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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