i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So vagazzling was a success
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize