so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i out mim tonsoeep
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