its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
