..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
