Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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