they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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