After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
