Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
