What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
