This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
