The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
