I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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