i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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