i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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