Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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