Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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