I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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