oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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