just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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