you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
this hospital has no fireball
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
