Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry drunkop hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

Fav 13 781 3198
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

You're perfectly engineered for doggy style

Fav 25 5989 988
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"

Fav 22 14908 1830
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I am both scared and jealous.

Fav 4 3267 1271
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

Fav 11 2023 833
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...

Fav 2 1617 919
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

So did he inherit the massive family cock?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

:(

Fav 9 884 2532
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's

Fav 2 634 396
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?

Fav 0 63 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT