You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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