remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
