i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
