What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
