I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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