I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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