Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
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He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.