entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
