Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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