he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
