we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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