I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
