Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
