Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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