i was born a porn star she said
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
