Dual....:-)
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
