I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
