Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
