Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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