They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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