we have officially lost it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
