Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
