is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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