the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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