Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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