Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
