There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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