Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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