Will you blow on my dice?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
