No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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