My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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