so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
