my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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