I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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