"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
