Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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