This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
