Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
