I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
