To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
