I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
